Day 7: Nikki--Endgame.

Not eating (though I was drinking juice and milks) while focusing on Bahrain during these last 7 days somehow made me feel more conscious of what I was doing and my goals, which were to focus more on Bahrain, and to try to talk to other people about the current issue. I feel like I could have devoted a week to doing that without fasting, but it might have been less of a conscious act without that low-level hunger reminding me of this choice that I made. My hunger consumed me, in a sense, and it wasn't really even hunger, because once you get used to that it is fleeting. It was more a slight lethargy, slight fogginess, combined with a slight starvation that was a basically a constant presence. It was difficult to ignore, and thus the situation in Bahrain became difficult to ignore--which is frankly something I feel good about. I ignore tons of human rights issues every day while I focus on others, or on myself, or on what I am going to cook for dinner, and I like how the physical consequences of fasting disallowed me from ignoring what's happening in Bahrain right now.

I also felt more aware of my emotional states, and less able to numb myself from unpleasant emotions. After Mark posted a translation of that terrible news story, I remember reading the words "condolences to the family of the deceased infant" and basically instantly weeping. I wonder if I would have blocked out that reaction, and gone on with the day, if slight starvation wasn't holding me in a somewhat raw state.

On a personal level it was also a neat exercise. I stopped eating meat in high school because I was interested in altering what I consumed to see how it affected how I felt (and how I performed, as a runner). I was personally intrigued by the idea of this hunger chain for the same reason, though I certainly abstained from running while I myself was 'running' on empty.

This week also made me feel pretty committed to the outcome in Bahrain. I have two friends who are considering taking a week in the Chain, and I had numerous conversations with sympathetic ears of people who will probably end up calling their senators about the arms deal. It was interesting to watch myself develop a relationship with a country, and some of its people, by engaging in something like this. I've never been to Bahrain and I don't speak the language there, yet I now somehow feel connected to it, and invested in the outcome of the Bahraini Spring.